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Born to Soar

Born to Soar- Overcoming an Abusive Past

It is sad by Domestic Violence happens about every 3 minutes , everyday. More than half of the victims are women, and children. Even family pets are victimized. My moms boyfriend ate my bunny as a kid,and I believe to this day he is the one who ran over our one dog. Funny it was his favorite dog I thought.It took some time but I have forgiven him. I have never forgotten, and live today with the scars.My mom had gotten it worse. He was also abused as a child, and so the cycle continued till one day he nearly killed us..He became a monster because of his drinking, and use of drugs.

Abuse was not talked about in the 80s. I had a friend come over who her self was a bully somewhat in school. When she came over as we went to bed, I saw bruises,pip bruising on her back, and arms. Moms boy friend said yes she can stay and decided not to call police as it was a private family issue. I do not know what happens to her to this day. I do know she already had issues of acting out.

If I can past it, here is some of what is in Born to Soar which Much I wrote- this is one portion which was written by me

From being molested, yelled at, screamed at things began to turn more to making mom pay. I watched, listened in other room as he would come home drunk and beating mom to black and blue. It got so bad one night that mom called cops, they said they could do nothing unless they saw it. ( This was mid 1980s) Then things went back to normal for then. Moms reason for returning home after a month away was love. He has been so good to him. I said

We owe him ditto after all this crap

/ I was 15 or 14, and it was mom. Back then it was not talked about openly. What happened in the home for most part stayed in the home. What happened in schools also stayed as well. It went normal for months, and for a while was ok.. Then he began again off and on. My senior year he decided it was my turn again, through an alarm clock in my face. He also decided while I was visiting my gram and adoptive dad for first time my dad,in EWR, and then to CLE for gram, he would eat my pet bunny. Our one dog (Poodles toys) was showing signs of giving birth and had issues, he refused to let me call mom to take her to vet, I cried had a fit left, said I
want to watch her die. She did not die, but a puppy did, as it got stuck. Well the next year , or when I was 16, I got a job at HNL Airport as a lei greeter for a couple of companies. One was in truth working for LUVE, or ALOHA. Lucky to get paid. However I had fun. Loved the work. During this time , we moved out again, stayed at hotel, then moved home again. Later after my graduation he was drinking so bad I heard him coming upstairs. He and mom fought and he came after her, and me with a large kitchen knife. I never ran so fast with mom. He also through white painted cans full of pain against some of our plurmaria trees. I made sure I closed all our poodles in my room as I ran out. Well he did go to trial , mom had to testify. All records of him and his drunk driving, and pot etc were not allowed in. So he was a charmer as a Escort, and charmed his way out NOT Guilty. I had nightmares for months of him coming burning house down, killing us. He did not, and I still saw him at airport as he now was driving limos. However after we left Hawaii due to this, and not being able to afford living there, he died of cancer alone, in pain. Karma is a bitch.
Now during School-
Most of the time I was fine, in school was not popular, but I was not bullied in school like as we see bulling today/ I was molested once, beaten to a pulp a few times, once I actually needed a good but wipen though. Sometimes in life we bring things on ourselves. I had a friend spend the night and decided that it be good idea to experiment sexually . I resisted but when I did too much noise, and moms boyfriend got angry with me, did not want to hear anything about my friend. So I gave in let her do what she wanted and suffered in silence.I feared him more then my friend. I also knew something was not right with her. She also came over when moms boyfriend

was out of town with bruises on her back. I mean you could see the medal pipe. It was very sad, It to me explained much of how she was. I decided to tolerate much from her, it was excuses when I look back. In School ,more middle,and elementary school was called every name in the book, and was stabbed in back by another student in elementary school. I was also threatened by knives to my neck with my ,some of my hair cut. I got home I got a beaten for that. It was my fault, I had to go to school like that as it grew out. Suicide Attempt I attempted suicide, running away, cutting, burning myself. I got my but chewed out at school and home for trying to cut my wrists. I began seeing myself based on others, hated myself.I even associated with a gang. The crips gang, Tongans. I did not talk to people of this as it was just not what people talked about.
Words Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me
I hate this saying, as it is not true. Words have power, power to create or destroy. The scriptures mention the tongue has power of life, and death. They key is whose words will you embrace others, or Gods, or, and self? At this time I did not understand for years that I had power, the power of choice. Choice of whom I would believe.

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