it’s you and your loved ones who make it a home or a hell. Domestic Violence
does not discriminate and can happen at any time during a relationship. It takes place in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. It crosses all ethnic,social, and economic lines. None is immune. The key in stopping this is knowledge, and awareness. It is a very real reality for way to many. It is passed from generation to generation A Poem Losing Myself
The sharp cold sting of your anger wraps across my skin I still see the marks that you engrave into me Your words drip into my mind like a deadly poison Changing the way I perceive myself You're an animal with an insatiable appetite for killing people's happiness-you can't seem to stop until I'm bruised and broken down I lose the strength to hold myself up as my body flops to the ground I sense you looming over me laughing in my face
To you this is a sickened pleasure But to me it's my worst nightmare I scream and shout until it's a distant whisper I cry and whimper cowering in the corner like a timid child Will this torture ever stop
© Gemma Pearman. All rights reserved Many times it never begins this way. Often the abuser is very charming. Many abusers where abused themselves,and have learned this is the norm at home. I can tell you back in the day it was normal to keep home issues private. No one wanted to know about it as the thinking was it is not our business. It is sad this is still the problem in many cases. I have lived with my mom in domestic violence,and we were lucky to survive. I have stopped a relationship as a teen because of abuse which was beginning.
Here are some signs of domestic abuse;
Having a partner with a bad temper, or one who is jealous or possessive Being overly eager to please the abuser Checking in with abusive partner frequently to outline daily activities or confirm prior plans Frequent injuries and cl
aiming of “accidents”
Inconsistent attendance at work, school, or other social activities Excessive clothing or accessories to hide signs of physical abuse Low self-esteem and self-worth
Limited access to friends, family, transportation, or money Depression or anxiety or other personality changes Here is what WebMD says
” Does your partner:
Embarrass you with put-downs? Look at you or act in ways that scare you?Control what you do, who you see or talk to, or where you go?Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?Take your money or paycheck, make you ask for money, or refuse to give youmoney? Make all of the decisions?Tell you that you're a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?Threaten to commit suicide? Prevent you from working or going to school? Act like the abuse is no big deal or is your fault, or even deny doing it? Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets? Intimidate you with guns, knives, or other weapons?Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?Threaten to kill you?
f any of these things or other types of abuse are happening, you need to seek help.It's important to know that you are not alone. The way your partner acts is not yourfault. Help is available. Do you have a friend, coworker, relative, or neighbor whoyou think may be in an abusive relationship?Signs that someone you know is being abused :
Bruises or injuries that look like they came from choking, punching, or beingthrown down. Black eyes, red or purple marks at the neck, and sprained wrists arecommon injuries in violent relationships.Attempting to hide bruises with makeup or clothingMaking excuses like tripping or being accident-prone or clumsy. Often theseriousness of the injury does not match up with the explanation.Having few close friends and being isolated from relatives and coworkers and kept from making friends Having to ask permission to meet, talk with, or do things with other people Having little money available; may not have cred
it cards or even a car”
What are the long term effects on children who are abused?
· Child abuse and neglect have been shown to cause important regions of the brain to fail to form or grow properly, resulting in impaired development. Thesealterations in brain maturation have long-term consequences for cognitive,language, and academic abilities and are connected with mental health disorders(Tarullo, 2012)· The immediate emotional effects of abuse and neglect
isolation, fear, andan inability to trust
can translate into lifelong· psychological consequences, including low self-esteem, depression, andrelationship difficulties
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/domestic-violence-signs-of-domestic-violence https://www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/ https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domestic_violence/impact.cfm For Teenshttp://www.stoptheviolence.org/dv-teen-dating-violence Help for Domestic Violencehttp://www.thehotline.org/
The other side of abuse not many like to look at, or even believe it happens is, the abuse of men. Yes men get abused as well. Some women get so angry for this to be suggested. It is true there is still many more women,and children who get abused then men.
It is not publicized because of shame, and the stereotyping of how a man should be.If a man is a victim we look at him as week, or for some reason deserving the abuse. This is so wrong. We are each sacred,valuable in our own selves. NO One deserves abuse of any kind. I think we as a society today do not value life as generations ago did. We need to value life again. It begins with individuals, and in-the home. It also takes humility to go and get help for oneself,and family.Be anabuser,victim,or both,one cannot change this over night,or alone. I also think in-this generation of today, many have forgotten manners. Manners are not so much taught in homes like they were in the generations before. It is little things that become big things.
May I say to us all, we do not need a man to be fulfilled, or happy. We do not need another to be happy, and fulfilled.We must find this within. Simone said "Happiness is based on happenings- everything goes right we are happy,but Joy is what will carry you through in every circumstance, and no one can take joy from you.You give it away." Jesus gives Joy.
However I know we all have various beliefs,so my point one must find joy, strengthen within first. Yes we are emotional beings,even more so than men.Men are visual. Learn, and I am speaking to myself too,as is easier said than done for many of us. Love ourselves, than we can love others,and attract true love. It does somewhere your neighbor,as you love yourself. How can you love another, if you do not love self?
One in four women in the US will be victims of domestic violence in their lifetime. Physical and sexual attacks are often involved, but intimidation, emotional abuse and controlling behavior are all forms of domestic violence. And while 85% of victims are women, men can also be subjects of domestic abuse. Kenyatta Mickles, assistant professor of Clinical Law at the University of Cincinnati College of Law’s Domestic Violence and Civil Protection Order Clinic, Crisis Intervention Specialist with Women Helping Women, Katie Weber, and Victoria Parks, development director for the Women Crisis Center, discuss domestic violence, and available help for victims.
Women Helping Women: 513-381-5610
Women's Crisis Center: 800-928-3335